When You Go Quiet
Hello,
When I go quiet, does anyone really notice?
Not at first, anyway.
As long as I’m still doing the things I’m supposed to do, I don’t think anyone really realises.
I’m still there. Still answering when I need to. Still doing the things that have to be done.
Just… quieter.
And then eventually somebody notices.
And that’s usually when the questions start.
What’s wrong?
Are you okay?
Have I done something?
Why are you so quiet?
I know those questions usually come from love.
But sometimes, when my head is already full, they just become more noise.
Because there isn’t always something terribly wrong.
I’m not giving anyone the cold shoulder. I’m not angry. I’m not trying to punish somebody with silence.
Sometimes I genuinely just need the quiet.
Right now, as I write this, I’m sitting here with my laptop and Teddy, my little Pomeranian.
There’s no television on.
No music.
No conversation.
Nothing demanding my attention.
And it is beautifully simple.
It feels like space.
Space to think through things at my own pace.
Space where there isn’t a deadline attached to every thought.
Space where, for a little while, I don’t have to put whatever is happening inside me to one side because somebody else needs something.
And I want to be clear about that.
I love looking after the people I love.
This isn’t about wanting less of them.
Sometimes I just need a little bit of myself back.
Sometimes going quiet means I’m overwhelmed.
Sometimes my social battery has simply run out.
And sometimes there isn’t even a reason I can neatly explain.
I just need peace.
I think we’re very quick to interpret quietness as something negative.
She’s in a mood.
He’s being rude.
They’re being immature.
But needing silence isn’t wrong.
It doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong with you either.
Sometimes it’s simply what you need.
That doesn’t mean the people around us will always understand it.
And I’ve realised that sometimes protecting my quiet also means communicating it.
Not explaining myself for twenty minutes.
Not asking permission.
Just enough to stop the people I love from mistaking my silence for something it isn’t.
A quick message before someone comes home.
I’m okay. I’ve just run out of people today. I need a bit of quiet.
A note on the table.
Nothing’s wrong. I just need some space tonight.
Whatever works.
You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation for needing some peace.
But sometimes a few words can give you that peace without leaving somebody else wondering whether they’ve done something wrong.
And maybe we need to stop wearing our ability to push through everything like some sort of medal.
How much we can carry.
How tired we can become.
How overwhelmed we can feel while still managing to keep everything moving.
There is no prize for becoming exceptionally good at running on empty.
Maybe it has become normal.
That doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.
So if you need to go quiet for a while, go quiet.
Let the noise stop.
Give yourself some space.
And if you need to, tell the people around you that silence isn’t rejection.
Sometimes it’s simply how you find your way back to yourself.
Hold your peace. Protect it.
You do not need permission.
Jamie x
Founder, Camrhisa Designs